How Do You Support Someone Through a Deployment?

As some of you may know, Allie has been deployed for the last couple of months—and she is still deployed now.

We thought running a podcast was hard when we were both working our normal jobs, but let me tell you, deployment has created an entirely new set of challenges for us.

There are the obvious podcast challenges. Recording new episodes together is nearly impossible. Most of our conversations involve sending each other a million text messages for the other person to wake up to because of the time difference.

We are making it work, and I am incredibly proud of everything we have continued to build together.

But honestly, the podcast logistics have not been the hardest part for me.

The harder part has been trying to figure out how to be a good friend to someone who is deployed while I am still living my normal life at home. And this is something I have wrestled with not only during Allie’s deployment, but also during my friend Jordan’s nine-month deployment-our guest on this week’s episode.

With both of them, I found myself asking the same questions.

Am I bothering them with too many texts? Am I not checking in enough? Do they want to hear about the normal, everyday things happening at home, or does that make being away harder? Should I ask how they are doing, give them space, distract them, or somehow do all three?

There was also guilt. Guilt that I was at home continuing with my normal life while two of my friends were deployed. Guilt when I complained about something small, knowing that what they were facing was much bigger. And guilt that, despite caring about them deeply, I did not always know what they needed from me.

The truth is, I did not always know how to support Jordan while she was gone, and I do not always know how to support Allie now. I think that uncertainty is something a lot of people experience but do not always talk about.

Every deployment is different, and every person handles being away differently. The same is true for the people at home trying to support them. Sometimes support might look like a care package or a scheduled phone call. Sometimes it is continuing to send the memes, updates, and random thoughts you would normally share, even when you know they may not respond right away. Sometimes it is simply reminding someone that they are still loved, remembered, and included.

In this week’s episode, Jordan shares her own perspective on deployment, what she needed from the people at home, and the lessons she carried back with her. Her story made me realize how important it is to have these conversations—not only with the person who is deployed, but also with the people trying their best to support them.

So, we want to hear from all of you.

Have you ever been deployed? What made you feel supported during that time? Was there something a friend, partner, or family member did that meant more than they probably realized?

Or maybe you have been in my position and wondered whether you were doing too much, not enough, or completely missing the mark.

Share whatever comes to mind—the meaningful things, the practical advice, the mistakes you learned from, or even the funny stories. I know I am not the only one who could use a little guidance, and your experience might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

And if you have not listened yet, head over to this week’s episode to hear Jordan’s honest perspective on deployment, service, sacrifice, and coming home.

We’ll start the conversation, but we need all of you to keep it going.

— Isa & Allie ✨